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• I lost my son to adoption. (No,I did not 'make a decision' to surrender him, I was given no alternatives) I was not promised anonymity. I was not told his records would be sealed and he would be thwarted in finding me if he chose. I was told, on the relinquishment papers, that I was not allowed to search for or contact him, and to a very scared 17 year old, in a judge's chamber for the first (and only) time, I was frightened into thinking I would face the authorities and jail if I did. I was told it was best for my child to be adopted, that I was an inadequate mother and selfish if I wanted to keep him. I was told it was better for him if I stayed out of his life. I was not told that mothers who lost children to adoption face a lifetime of depression, PTS, anxiety and sorrow. I was told to 'move on with my life' then discouraged by school counselors from going to college because after all, I had had a baby and was probably not the right type of girl for college. I was not told that adopted kids long for their mothers, wonder and have thousands of forever unanswered questions about their mothers and fathers. I was told he would never care about me, and would love his adopted parents as his only parents. I was placed in a home for unwed mothers. Some of the girls there had been raped, but 'even they' were loving and caring towards their babies, and, there were luckier than me, because they were girls of color, they were able to keep their babies. Records must be opened without restrictions. It is only fair to those who were adopted, and their mothers and fathers who loved them forever and longed for them. It's not just a matter of medical information, but a human right to know one's origins. Talk to actual mothers who lost children to adoption in groups like Origins USA and Concerned United Birthparents. If all mothers want anonymity, why are those groups advocating unrestricted open records?
  in Adoptees Fight for Access to Original Birth Certificates
  Monday August 02, 2010, 04:08 PM