To BP or Not to BP...

A Shakespearean take on the Gulf Oil Spill

Tuesday, May 25, 2010 - 04:58 PM

(Read by Takeaway managing editor, Rob Hugh-Jones)

To BP, or not to BP — that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the Gulf to suffer
The slick and leaks of outrageous petroleum
Or to throw mud against a flow of crude
And by opposing end it.
To close, to seal —
No more — and by a seal to say we end
The oilache, and the thousand dinosaur drips
That fuel is heir to. 'Tis a percolation 
Exactly to be plugged. To close, to seal —
To seal — perchance to drill: ay, there's the rub,
For in that seal of oil what drills may come
When we have shuffled off this offshore rig
Must give us pause. There's wind turbines
That make calamity of energy needs.
For who would bear the costs and pains of windmills,
Th' oilman's wrong, the executive's abuse, 
The pangs of despised fuel, the law's delay,
The insolence of Congress, and the spurns
That patient merit of th' unworthy taxes,
When Doug Suttles might earn a bonus
With a bare oil drill? Who would bear hybrids,
To grunt and sweat under battery life,
Without the dread of rotted dinosaurs,
The undiscovered crude, from which wildcat
No oil company returns, puzzles Salazar,
And makes us rather bear those oils we have
Than fly to hybrids that we know not of?
Thus cheap fuel does make cowards of us all,
And thus the smeary hue of petroleum
Is slicked o'er the gleaming Gulfstream waters,
And enterprise in green alternatives
With this regard their money turnsaway 
And lose the name of business. — Soft you now,
The fair Salazar! — Nymph, in thy decisions 
Be all the oil remembered.

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Comments [1]

And what if BP's PR dept had a Twitter acct?

May. 26 2010 09:08 AM

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