Exactly thirty years ago today, May 28th, West Point graduated its first women.  I was one of sixty-one women who raised their right hands that day and swore our oaths to the Constitution, then pinned on our bars as new second lieutenants.

No one rolled out the red carpet for us, but on the whole, the integration of women at West Point went pretty well. We kept our heads down, and did the work, and were rewarded on occasion by a male cadet saying grudgingly, “Well, I don’t believe women belong here, but you’re okay.” My roommate was an amazing athlete – what West Pointers call, regardless of gender, a “stud.” She could do a dozen pull-ups, run two miles in 12 minutes. In combat boots. I was more of an academic type, competing on West Point’s Debate Team as a plebe. At some point, the head of Admissions told me that my SATs had been the highest of anyone, man or woman, entering in the class of ’80.

Thirty years after women first graduated from West Point, we take women leaders for granted, on the battlefield as well as off.  This year at West Point the top TWO grads were women.  More importantly, women are serving in critical roles in Afghanistan and in Iraq (including our classmate BG Anne Fields McDonald); women command, women earn medals, and they have been wounded and died in service to their country.  

So we’ve forgotten the uproar when Congress passed the law admitting women to the service academies, criticism that didn’t die down until after we graduated.  All of us remember that the most painful op-ed, and the one quoted most often by the male cadets who hated us, came while we were already cadets. It was written by a young former Marine and author named Jim Webb, who said women would “poison” the preparation of combat officers.  Writing about Annapolis in particular, he said that the newly co-ed academy, with men far outnumbering women, was a “horny woman’s dream.”  And he rounds out his argument with a version of every old grad’s lament: it just isn’t as tough now as it was when I went through it.

But the U.S. military survived and thrived. West Point and Annapolis continue to turn out smart, tough, capable officers, male and female.  And senior military leaders acknowledge that they cannot accomplish their mission without women serving in almost every capacity.

Today history is again being made as the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) law has been repealed (the policy still remains in place, but this is an important milestone). And among the opponents is… Jim Webb, now Senator from Virginia.  He represents a mindset shared by some in the military: a mindset that sees courage and strength as essentially and exclusively masculine, heterosexual traits.  A mindset that suggests that if women (and gay men) can do this, then it cheapens me as a man. 

Fortunately most in the military don’t share this opinion – in fact many changed their minds because a fellow Soldier or Sailor or Marine came out to them as gay.  Sometimes most of the guys around the table laughing at the “fag” joke know that one of them is gay; but they laugh because that’s the socially accepted thing to do under DADT. And the guy telling the joke goes back to his laptop and blogs that “everyone I know in the military hates gays,” not knowing the joke is on him.  That’s how it was 30 years ago: the male cadets complained about the women, because it was socially acceptable, and they didn’t want to be teased; but when it came down to it, they’d look at me, or my roommate, and say “…but you’re okay.” 

Many of our opponents have not served one day in the military (I’m looking at you, Elaine Donnelly). But many of our opponents have, and I am grateful for their service. Of one truth there is little doubt: that those opponents who have served, served at some point alongside closeted gay men and lesbians. 

So I have just one last question to those military people who oppose repealing DADT: Why would their truth – OUR truth – make you weaker?

Brenda S. “Sue” Fulton is a 1980 West Point graduate and a  Founding Board member of Knights Out, an organization of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender West Point grads and their allies. She served five years as an Army officer, including command of a Military Intelligence Company, and resigned at the rank of Captain.

James Webb’s 1979 article about women at the academies can be found at http://www.washingtonian.com/articles/mediapolitics/2182.html