I think in many cases parents are to blame. Having been bullied all through school, I remember most of the bullies; many were from households where the bullying was encouraged;2 exs: one of my bullies was an A student and her mother was a teacher. Other teachers would help cheat for her to keep her on top and she would tease others who were making bad grades, calling us retards, stupid etc...a second bully had a single mother who was on drugs and prostituting herself and the older underaged sister which is why I think this kid lashed out.

NO - you cannot blame parents. While growing up, one may be exposed to that sort of ugly behavior at home, but the choice to reject or embrace it is totally up to the child. My siblings and I grew up in a very violent household, and could not be a more peaceful group. We simply chose not to accept it.

I think FB from California has it right on the nose, so to speak. Its a complex intertwined problem but one that can be solved pretty easily I think based on my experiences growing up. Also there is no need to add this to the list of law suits being filed in our courts and making the issue more complicated. Here is what I think: any child who is being bullied should go to the school officials and inform them that they are being harrassed. The school official then should interview the accused parties to get their side of the story. Once it has been established that bullying is going on, then the parents of the antagonists must be called in to school for a conference regarding the childs' behavior and to obviously insist this ends at once. If the bullying continues then the parents must be informed that their child will be expelled from school if another episode of bullying occurs. In a nutshell, you must get rid of the individuals who choose to cause pain and disruption in their environment. This was the rule of thumb when I went to school, long before PC became the mantra. Not to divest the school of these problem children only causes the majority of good kids to suffer, either in the classroom or in the school yard. Either way they dont belong with the rest of the class if they 'can't play nice' with the others. It worked in our time. We were not held back or made to endure the antics of the nay doers. As a result the vast majority of our class body went on to be successful and good citizens.
Also this allows for a resolution that can be beneficial to the bullyer by pressuring them and making them change their ways so in the end they will appreciate that adults got involved at the right time to help them grow to fulfill their true potential.

I absolutely agree that parents have a huge hand in this matter. However, when you are bullied in college, as I was at Syracuse University, school administrators and residence directors need to take responsibility, too. Freshmen who are away from home have a lot of freedom, and their parents are not there to oversee their day-to-day activities and intervene. These kids are looking for acceptance, and they are very impressionable. So while they may have not been a bully in high school or earlier, it's easy for them to lose sight of themselves in the interest of being accepted and liked.

The good news is we are beginning to see more and more a legal precedent allowing kids to take legal action against perpetrators of school place harassment (i.e. bullies.) I predict eventually we’ll see cases where Parents of bullied victims will be able to file harassment charges against both, the parents of the “bully” and against the school system itself (in some cases the bullies parents may have deeper pockets.) In these cases, parents of a "bullied" kid will carefully document events, collect evidence (Facebook, for example an excellent source,) and acquire witnesses, all of which will be used to press harassment charges against the bullies, their parents, and perhaps the school system itself.

It is just not that simple. You can't put all the blame on the parents. I don't deny that in many cases parents of bullies may, in fact, be negligent and/or poor role models but in many cases, I believe, they may not. Parents' behavior is not always the root cause; the answer to the problem is not that cut and dried. Children are products of their parents but they are also individuals and products of their environments (home, school, extra-curricular, internet.) A parent cannot be around a child all the time (especially as they reach school-age). It is our responsibility to lay the groundwork from a young age, to teach them kindness, empathy, compassion and respect. But as they reach adolescence these children will prefer to be influenced by their peers over us and we can only hope that the lessons we've taught have sunk in. Parents are not perfect nor are their children. It's a two way street and short of locking your child up until he/she's past puberty, I don't know of a solution.

It is just not that simple. You can't put all the blame on the parents. I don't deny that in many cases parents of bullies may, in fact, be negligent and/or poor role models but in many cases, I believe, they may not. Parents' behavior is not always the root cause; the answer to the problem is not that cut and dried. Children are products of their parents but they are also individuals and products of their environments (home, school, extra-curricular, internet.) A parent cannot be around a child all the time (especially as they reach school-age). It is our responsibility to lay the groundwork from a young age, to teach them kindness, empathy, compassion and respect. But as they reach adolescence these children will prefer to be influenced by their peers over us and we can only hope that the lessons we've taught have sunk in. Parents are not perfect nor are their children. It's a two way street and short of locking your child up until he/she's past puberty, I don't know of a solution.

It is just not that simple. You can't put all the blame on the parents. I don't deny that in many cases parents of bullies may, in fact, be negligent and/or poor role models but in many cases, I believe, they may not. Parents' behavior is not always the root cause; the answer to the problem is not that cut and dried. Children are products of their parents but they are also individuals and products of their environments (home, school, extra-curricular, internet.) A parent cannot be around a child all the time (especially as they reach school-age). It is our responsibility to lay the groundwork from a young age, to teach them kindness, empathy, compassion and respect. But as they reach adolescence these children will prefer to be influenced by their peers over us and we can only hope that the lessons we've taught have sunk in. Parents are not perfect nor are their children. It's a two way street and short of locking your child up until he/she's past puberty, I don't know of a solution.

Children absorb their parents' words and observe their actions from the moment they're born on. If the child comes from a home in which racist, bigoted phraseology, angry, aggressive language, snobbish put downs, snarky, mean comments abound, then they're going to grow up to bully those around them.

When I hear mothers tearing apart other parents as they wait outside school to pick up their kids, or witness fathers saying how they'll kick some neighbor's butt, I'm not surprised when I hear about verbal and/or physical brutality coming from kids of all ages.

If you're continually mean about someone who doesn't dress like you or look like you or have as many material things as you, or if you use aggressive and violent language about a person whose lawn isn't cut as regularly, or who makes more than you, why would you be so surprised to learn your kids were being petty and mean and violent towards their schoolmates?

Also, too many parents are so absorbed in their own lives, they have no idea who their kids are hanging with, what they're up to, what their internet activities are, etc.

I honestly don't know why most people have kids anymore. They obviously don't have any interest in being parents. They dump them in day care from infancy on up, they make it clear from the outset that the kids are a bother to them -- why should kids who have never been properly cared for care about others?

Yes most definitely! Parents now and days turn there other cheek and refuse to take responsibility for there own kids. South Hadley parents are more judgmental and are lots of time worse then there own children. Status is everything in this town. Your either rich and popular or broke and made fun of. You have to dress a certain way to fit in, have an expensive car that mommy and daddy bought for you and throw cool parties when your parents are on vacation. Parents will not talk to unless you live on the right side of town (the falls aka: the poor side). I know what is like cause I live here. I'm a graduate of 2007. My mother and father and I talk about everything. I have been bullied before to by mean girls, but I never let it get to me. You had to fight your way through it, even got myself into a couple of fights just to get girls off my back and basically say don't mess with me. They got the hint! I'm not saying girls should do that because trust me I had consequences when I got home. My mother and father are great parents they disciplined me like parents should and always knew where I was. I stayed far away from the South Hadley crowd, they are nothing but trouble. Drugs are a big thing to in South Hadley. Kids would be snorting coke in the library in school shooting heroin in the bathroom and smoking weed. That school is a joke, because I agree that the principle and the superintendent should step down. Now South Hadley is getting a real wake up call that they need! God bless the poor parents of Phoebe Prince.

Yes most definitely! Parents now and days turn there other cheek and refuse to take responsibility for there own kids. South Hadley parents are more judgmental and are lots of time worse then there own children. Status is everything in this town. Your either rich and popular or broke and made fun of. You have to dress a certain way to fit in, have an expensive car that mommy and daddy bought for you and throw cool parties when your parents are on vacation. Parents will not talk to unless you live on the right side of town (the falls aka: the poor side). I know what is like cause I live here. I'm a graduate of 2007. My mother and father and I talk about everything. I have been bullied before to by mean girls, but I never let it get to me. You had to fight your way through it, even got myself into a couple of fights just to get girls off my back and basically say don't mess with me. They got the hint! I'm not saying girls should do that because trust me I had consequences when I got home. My mother and father are great parents they disciplined me like parents should and always knew where I was. I stayed far away from the South Hadley crowd, they are nothing but trouble. Drugs are a big thing to in South Hadley. Kids would be snorting coke in the library in school shooting heroin in the bathroom and smoking weed. That school is a joke, because I agree that the principle and the superintendent should step down. Now South Hadley is getting a real wake up call that they need! God bless the poor parents of Phoebe Prince.

Yes, parents either approve of a little "harmless teenage ribbing" (yeah right)or simply aren't engaged with their children. You are a negligent parent if you don't know who your children hang out with and have no idea how they treat others outside of this group. Go online and review their social networks and those of their friends. You may be surprised. Parents CAN make a difference if they choose. Our children were taught above all else, including academics and sports, to leave a kind footprint wherever they tread.