1950s style house, the "american dream" home (flickr user 50s Pam)
President Barack Obama does it, and according to a study by the AARP, so do 33 percent of all 18-to-49 year olds. Living with your parents or in-laws is sometimes done out of necessity, other times voluntarily, and in many other cultures, much more frequently.
Sharing statistics on who’s doing it, and tips on how to make the most of this situation if you’re in it, is Ylonda Gault Caviness, a longtime family and parenting journalist whose work regularly appears in Redbook and iVillage.
And Kristen L’Esperance, of Burlington, Vermont, tells us from first-hand experience what it's like to be an adult living with one's parents. A thirty-year-old interior architect, she was forced to move back in with her parents last year due to under-employment.
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My parents made it clear that I could always return home if needed. I left home for college at 17, returned for 2 months while looking for housing at age 27. It was such a gift- it allowed me to take some risks so that I could follow my dreams.
My sister and her husband have recently welcomed their unemployed "adult child" back into their home. It has been an very difficult process for all of them and I do not see a single advantage beyond the obvious one of a parent's feeling of responsibility to provide housing for a child in need, no matter what his or her age. Married young and moving straight from her parents' home to her marital home, my sister has spent her life being daughter, sister, mother, wife with all of the responsibilities that come with those roles. She has taken in relatives in need, cared for her children and elderly parents alike, often to the brink of physical and emotional exhaustion. When her offspring flew from the nest and it was at last "empty", she began to enjoy being somewhat independent and focusing on her own needs for the first time in her life. She very much wants to be a part of her adult children's lives, but in taking her adult child back into her home, she has once again assumed the mommy role. It's great to say that the adult child and parent can live as roommates; in reality I think this is difficult and rare. With notable exceptions I'm sure, I do not envision the average 60 year old who has been enjoying free time and independence for the first time ever embracing the notion of becoming a "built in baby-sitter". It is presumptuous to think that retired adults take their adult children back into their homes for any reason other than an eternal feeling of parental responsibility.
I think I have the ultimate 3 generations under 1 roof story. My husband and I, both divorced from our former spouses, met on Match.com in early 07. Early in our relationship we shared stories of our 6 children (he, 3 sons, me 3 daughters, yes I know about the Brady Bunch!) and how all our children were grown and living on their own. We married the end of 07 and he moved into my very small post divorce condo. Within a few weeks, 3 of our 6 children's lives began to unfold in ways we could not have anticipated. Including my oldest daughter going through her own divorce with 2 small children. I don't think in all I've read about children coming home, there's ever been a discussion about "what if the home is gone?", as was our case. So, we did what we had to do, even though we were newlyweds, we both wanted to help our children. So we took advantage in the down swing in the housing market and built a new large home, His youngest son, my youngest daughter, my oldest daughter and her two children, (at the time were 2 and 4) all joined us. It's been quite the experience and in the past few months, my oldest daughter has been able to move out on her own with the kids (after 18 months with us), my youngest daughter will graduate from a LPN program in June, and my step-son graduated from electrician school and is looking for an apprenticeship. We did pick up another border, my daughter's fiancee. So we're a family of 5 and loving it. I wouldn't change a thing!